Starbucks Gold is the New Black

Hi! 

As you may know, I'm an avid coffee drinker. Comes with the territory of being a writer and transforming coffee shops into my home office. And let me tell you, the one thing that really drew me in to Starbucks wasn't necessarily the delicious smell of their beans or their low prices (sarcastic on both accounts) but the fact that when I registered my Gold card, I knew I was on my way to free soy milk and syrup land. 

To a loyal Starbucks drinker, Gold Card benefits are like hitting a mini lottery. You feel like you're getting away with a real steal dodging the extra $.40-$1.00 charge of liquid sugar. 

So you can imagine how royally shocked I was when I discovered Free Syrup and Soy Land was being mulled over by the Starbucks corporate giant! To my utter dismay I was hit with a morbid reality today when I received this crude news in my inbox:

GOODBYE?!

...I'm horrified

Along with many other fellow soy drinking coffee connoisseurs out there...

DISAPPOINTED TOO? WRITE YOUR COMMENTS HERE...

Before Christianity was an atheist

Before I was a Christian (as of almost a year ago) there pulsed within my blood an innate desire to scrutinize those who were...or at least people who had these "ridiculous" beliefs about some master of our universe...and what about other universes? Maybe there was a different God assigned to that one. I always gave credit to myself for being too smart to be conned into a rigid belief system that I assumed denied science and rational thought. Plus, I was happy thinking that if God gave me a mind to think, why would he punish me for using mine to deny his existence and embrace wordly concepts?

I was fond of philosophy, humor and cussing which I confess (pun intended, damnit) has yet to change now that I know God.

I thought that pursuing a religion or faith meant I had to give up the reality I had created for myself and the control I thought I had. Now, I can look back and see how God was working in my life, even when I never knew of his existence. Sometimes a flood of gratitude sweeps over my body and I'm hurled into a sea of tears. My world was like an Alice in Wonderland playground. My curiosity led to disaster, unanswered illusions, and complete chaos.

Now that I am a Christian, I struggle every day to die to myself. Those years of compounded beliefs that denied my savior come up to haunt me still. It's a constant battle with myself to let go of the reigns and let God guide my path.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in science.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in this world.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in myself.

I believe in God who created science, conquered this world, and gave me breath to live out His plan.

NASA photo of the Helix Nebula taken by the Hubble Space Telescope labeled
the 'Eye of God.'

He Listens When We Don't

My desires are like Chinese water torture droplets
Threatening me at incessant pace that don't care to stop it

I yearn for the worldly things that quench my thirst for moments
Funny how a material thing never seems to last, don't it

I want to cry out to Jesus to save me from my sins
But it's like my own hands cover my mouth obstructing my hopeful win

I want to reach for my Bible and taste the sweetness of His word
But I'm constrained to starve myself as I reap and sow - why can't I be a bird?

This struggle that I've muddled has really befuddled my own mind
God, pull me from the quicksand that I myself have carefully designed

For it's You who hold me near to you and shepard me to your light
Even when I feel stuck in a cage too heavy to move with my might

It's you who feeds me graciously even when I think I'm full
For you know my pangs and emptiness - over all of me you rule

A feeling is deceiving, but your timeless promises remain
The day you saved me Christ Jesus, my heart has never been the same

I may feel like I'm withering away like a flower with no soil for her roots
But a feeling fades, and your love grows in an undying devoted pursuit

I trust in you my God to hear my unsaid words today
I know you keep a treasure box full of the prayers I wanted to say

I praise you my Lord in Heaven for the mysteries you've made clear
For it's not my own voice I need to hear, but yours I lend my ear