Just Another Love Story

Temporal reality and dreams collide
No zone in between in which I can hide

Cloaked in a robe of gold and white
His valiant pursuit unveils his sight

His third eye on me...the one that can see

Sabotage, crippling fear and worry rush through my veins in a frozen surge
Blinding my sight in a faulty urge

Jerking my hope that is tied to my chains
Locked with a lost key, searing in the pains

Both eyes inverted, diverting the source of reason
Always looking inside for the answer no matter the season

The love story knocks again on her door
Barely beating she picks up her heart off the floor

Slipping in the puddle of uncertainty made with self deprecated tears
She crashes to ground and succumbs to her fears

Learning the Guitar

Grass is Just Green

Coffee is just water. But with preparation, time, and patience it transforms its color, its code, its taste. 

I am just a being. But with associations, connections, and ideas, I emerge into a new creation with constant change.

Grass is just green. But on the other side are illusions of rainbows, bursts of color, and false promises garbed in jade.

Phones are just plastic. But they hold the myths, stories, laughs and cries that echo in interpreted tones and invisible expressions.

My feet just fit in shoes. But they take steps toward positivity and light, even when the path before them is arduous and bent or when the shoe doesn't fit. 

Sand is just a bunch of tiny rocks. But with strength in numbers, a close relationship with waves, and illumination from the sun, it hosts parties, captures foot prints, and never groans when it is stepped on.

Love is just four letters. But with a touch, nurturing, and a devoted exchange of energy liberated through timeless moments, a seed is cultivated into a glowing flower that withstands all seasons. 

I'm Not a Prophet - Confessions of a Christian

I'm not a prophet. I don't know the Bible front and back. I can't debate in apologetic litheness. I'm simply God's child...yearning to seek after Him each day. Thirsting to be fed by His word and truth. There are times when I "feel" distant. Where my human mind tells me that I'm not good enough. That I haven't prayed enough. That I'm falling away from knowing His will because I haven't studied scripture enough. That the things I'm idolizing are outshining my creator.

Romans 8:7 

The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. ⁸ Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God.⁹ You, however, are not in the realm of the flesh but are in the realm of the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God lives in you. And if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, they do not belong to Christ.¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, then even though your body is subject to death because of sin, the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.  

Slowly but surely I notice the desires of my flesh dwindle in life, shriveling and sinking back into the darkness where they first lurched from. The appeal that once reigned over me is dying. This process of sanctification is painful. I feel like a snake shedding my old self. Each day. Each second. But it's not based on my own works but God that works in me. I can't volunteer my time in exchange for renewal of the mind. It's the spirit of God that sanctifies me.


"The spirit's work in the life of the believer is about SO MUCH MORE. It's about transforming the believer from the realm of the flesh to the realm of the spirit." -Voddie Baucham

click to see sermon
Voddie Baucham 

This I confess: I'm broken. I would seek darkness if it weren't for Christ saving me. I did for 24 years. But I have been born again. Filled up. Sealed, protected and healed. Being molded and conformed in the image of Christ. Thank you Lord God. My prayer is that I live like I know this to be true.

Sincerely yours,

The Quickest 30 Second Guide to reach Health Wealth and Happiness

                                            
            Buddy Heath            &                    Bethany Michaels

of Cat Fence-In Books™ Publishing have partnered together to release their highly anticipated self-wellness book:

The book engages new ideas by offering quips and snips from their own experiences along with renowned fitness gurus, life coaches, and health connoisseurs around the globe.

Say goodbye to boring and aloha to a healthy new positive mindset (on a Hawaiian beach if you imagine!)  

By offering easy to follow 30 second exercises, this short read is sure to ignite a fire in any fully committed participant.

Those who have read a preview of the book (close family and friends) have already seen results when applying the exercises to their life. In a recent review, Anthony DeLeon attests that when applying the Solution to a Problem Exercise he "woke up with a distinct answer. I asked to have a clear direction with an issue in my life and it really worked!"

With the release of 30 Seconds to Health Wealth and Happiness, Buddy and Bethany challenge readers to engage with an open mind and allow a new flow of positivity to transform their routine "blah" into renewed "awe."

Thanks to the Glipho community:

            

Roger Planes         Rachel Montenstein      Maria Nichol              Kris Cannon

These writers will be featured in the book with their review of the 30 second exercise of their choice as a testimonial of its effectiveness.

*Watch for the release date, scheduled to hit ebook shelves in the end of November.*

Jessica Biel Wedding Ring - Who Cares?

Boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy proposes to girl and they live happily ever...in divorce?

Look, I'm not prophesying that Biel-Limber (let's see if that one catches on) will split their separate ways after they've just tied the knot, I'm simply scrutinizing by looking at the cold hard facts. After all, The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue."

For divorce rates sake, let's hope they don't follow the trends of their previous relationship statuses and instead try to stay "in sync."

Check out this crappy picture of the blurred promise they've made:

Splash News

Sincerely,
Butt Hurt Single Girl

What Box Do You Put Jesus In?

But really...which one? There's so many to chose from in the depths of our minds. We've all got em- tall ones, teeny tiny ones, gaping wide ones. The boxes that mold our perception and our thoughts.

So, what box do you put Jesus in? This very question was recently asked by the pastor at Park Church last Sunday and slowly began creeping under my skin and tugging at my conscience. I realized that I have a ton of boxes, not just one.

Sometimes I put God in the "if you do this, then I'll do this" box.

• "God, if you give me ______________, I'll resist temptation and walk in your word."
• "God, if you take away ____________, I'll be sure to read scripture more."
• "Lord if you just give me a different desire for ___________ I'll trust you more."

Another box that diminishes God's greatness and limits my own growth is one of the most threatening of all. It's the box that I have hidden under my bed. The one I don't acknowledge and shove into an invisible area for as long as I can stand. This box holds my ego. This box is full of my illusions I believe when I'm not in His word.

To categorize God in our own minds is dangerous and deceitful. God can not be compartmentalized according to our will or our plans. God is not something we can schedule in if we have time. If you're a believer in Christ and you pray to the Lord only when you "want" something to go your way, but don't know what it means to live your life following, pursuing, thirsting after His rich word, then you are living a life that is malnourished, driven by selfishness and fearless pride. I only say this from experience, not to scold or point my finger at those who know no better or haven't searched their hearts. Everything is according to God's will, but he also instills in us a personal desire for things. And if your will and desire constantly are being fed by the culture we live in and the people you surround yourself with, then I beckon you to ask yourself:

What box am I putting God in?

Starbucks Gold is the New Black

Hi! 

As you may know, I'm an avid coffee drinker. Comes with the territory of being a writer and transforming coffee shops into my home office. And let me tell you, the one thing that really drew me in to Starbucks wasn't necessarily the delicious smell of their beans or their low prices (sarcastic on both accounts) but the fact that when I registered my Gold card, I knew I was on my way to free soy milk and syrup land. 

To a loyal Starbucks drinker, Gold Card benefits are like hitting a mini lottery. You feel like you're getting away with a real steal dodging the extra $.40-$1.00 charge of liquid sugar. 

So you can imagine how royally shocked I was when I discovered Free Syrup and Soy Land was being mulled over by the Starbucks corporate giant! To my utter dismay I was hit with a morbid reality today when I received this crude news in my inbox:

GOODBYE?!

...I'm horrified

Along with many other fellow soy drinking coffee connoisseurs out there...

DISAPPOINTED TOO? WRITE YOUR COMMENTS HERE...

Before Christianity was an atheist

Before I was a Christian (as of almost a year ago) there pulsed within my blood an innate desire to scrutinize those who were...or at least people who had these "ridiculous" beliefs about some master of our universe...and what about other universes? Maybe there was a different God assigned to that one. I always gave credit to myself for being too smart to be conned into a rigid belief system that I assumed denied science and rational thought. Plus, I was happy thinking that if God gave me a mind to think, why would he punish me for using mine to deny his existence and embrace wordly concepts?

I was fond of philosophy, humor and cussing which I confess (pun intended, damnit) has yet to change now that I know God.

I thought that pursuing a religion or faith meant I had to give up the reality I had created for myself and the control I thought I had. Now, I can look back and see how God was working in my life, even when I never knew of his existence. Sometimes a flood of gratitude sweeps over my body and I'm hurled into a sea of tears. My world was like an Alice in Wonderland playground. My curiosity led to disaster, unanswered illusions, and complete chaos.

Now that I am a Christian, I struggle every day to die to myself. Those years of compounded beliefs that denied my savior come up to haunt me still. It's a constant battle with myself to let go of the reigns and let God guide my path.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in science.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in this world.

Just because I believe in God, doesn't mean I don't believe in myself.

I believe in God who created science, conquered this world, and gave me breath to live out His plan.

NASA photo of the Helix Nebula taken by the Hubble Space Telescope labeled
the 'Eye of God.'

He Listens When We Don't

My desires are like Chinese water torture droplets
Threatening me at incessant pace that don't care to stop it

I yearn for the worldly things that quench my thirst for moments
Funny how a material thing never seems to last, don't it

I want to cry out to Jesus to save me from my sins
But it's like my own hands cover my mouth obstructing my hopeful win

I want to reach for my Bible and taste the sweetness of His word
But I'm constrained to starve myself as I reap and sow - why can't I be a bird?

This struggle that I've muddled has really befuddled my own mind
God, pull me from the quicksand that I myself have carefully designed

For it's You who hold me near to you and shepard me to your light
Even when I feel stuck in a cage too heavy to move with my might

It's you who feeds me graciously even when I think I'm full
For you know my pangs and emptiness - over all of me you rule

A feeling is deceiving, but your timeless promises remain
The day you saved me Christ Jesus, my heart has never been the same

I may feel like I'm withering away like a flower with no soil for her roots
But a feeling fades, and your love grows in an undying devoted pursuit

I trust in you my God to hear my unsaid words today
I know you keep a treasure box full of the prayers I wanted to say

I praise you my Lord in Heaven for the mysteries you've made clear
For it's not my own voice I need to hear, but yours I lend my ear

The Key to Human Success - Brand New eBook

Dear You,

Yes You!

Even though there are other activities that you could blissfully be basking in right now -- like watching the Olympics or tending to your overgrowing tomato garden in the backyard -- I'd like to say thank you for continuing to read this ongoing sentence that seemingly goes nowhere, but if you continue reading, you'll see it actually goes....nowhere. 

Now that we have that completely irrelevant fact established, I'd like to give you some content I actually find valuable and believe you will too.

Surprisingly, I've been given the opportunity to utilize my college degree, and I've been editing and writing for the author Bud Heath who has composed several books with fervent creativity. I'm very excited to announce that the short philosophical book Humantics is now available to order as an ebook online. If you have any passion to take a break from pruning the weeds from your garden and relax your eyes on some pixelated print, then I suggest you order a copy right now.

Honestly, I would greatly appreciate your support and feedback of the book.

The topic is that of human success, or lack thereof.

Please click the link below for an overview.

Just a Click Away...

God is Alive

I don't need to site scripture to prove that God exists. He is alive in my every breath, in my beating heart, in his intricate designs of the world. Reflecting on the past, I see now what I was blind to then. I was stuck in darkness. I was a lost soul, sucking life from people and leeching onto anyone that I trusted my emotions with. I was sinking slowly into a pit of fire without knowing that I was the one dousing myself in kerosene. But then, He saved me. He saved me by allowing me to light and burn in my own fire. And now, the old self, my old chains slowly are burning to death. And my new body, mind and spirit emerge with a likeness of Christ. Each day a part of my past dies, and a promise of my eternal life is planted and watered with the Lord's word. 

God, you are my hero. You are my King. You're my father even when I rebel. You are forever burning. Forever interceding for my sins. You sent your son to redeem me. Your plan is amazing. I am awestruck each day at your beauty. Whether it's the simple breeze that tosses my hair, or the indulgence of your word; you fill me up with truth. Thank you Lord. 

Willow Smith, Yellow Hair, Girlfriend?

Willow Smith + GF = lots and lots of scrutiny

An 11 year old with yellow hair and a chick on her arm?

Definition of the American dream.

Innocence or turmoil in the making?

The NEW New Age

You'll wanna double tap this! <3

Check the NEW WEBSITE for New Age X

Listen to "The Moment" JUST LEAKED
from our upcoming EP!

He found himself looming near hell on earth as he reached an unequivocal cross road. He wanted to close his eyes and find his way to a distant peace without moving. But stagnancy would only expose helpless dread. On the verge of disintegrating into a forgotten nothing, Johann’s only cure lived in the change that he was blind to. Without the ability to see his only escape, it seemed he was destined for ultimate darkness. But the particles of pain that leeched onto Johann like a blood sucking parasite, instantaneously melted in impotence as a cascading light descended upon his whole entity. Sanctifying his heart, reinventing his faith, resurging his desire like an endless waterfall.

 Johann was saved.

It had been a long road for Johann. The pain of a broken heart had crept inside his soul far too many times to bear on one’s shoulders, so he broke. He slouched in numb defeat with a paralyzed energy; any sense of life was siphoned from the depths of his being.  Steps heavy as he walked, he willingly trudged through misery as it weighed him down like layered mud under his shoe. He forgot what it meant to hold on. His grip on life perished as his weakened spirit slowed to a threatening pace. Barely beating, barely eating, he was in dire need of nourishment and regeneration. Behind his transparent smile thrived a grim evil.

Save me a Seat in Heaven

Things make me happy.

A new ring.

A sparkly nail polish set.

Candy scented lip gloss.

A clean car.

A decent career path.

Beautiful scenery. 

Things make me happy on the surface, but there's a gaping space that exists in all of us that yearns for more than name brand items and luxurious worldly treats. 

My soul. It needs more than a quick fix. Like a thirsty sponge, it shrivels into dry rubbish when it isn't fed with pure love.

Love. The only truth I've found that permeates all humanity is the love I've found in a God who is all too real to me. The God who saved me from myself. Who guarded my heart and protected my perpetual habits of sabotage and self hatred. 

Gratitude could never suffice. "Thankful" could never explain the heat the emanates from my new beating heart founded in God's grace.

No order of words or superfluous language could arrange a meaning so undeniably perfect to simulate God's goodness. 

So I stop writing. And am left to my thoughts, lifted up to my Savior. 

My Soul Purpose

No matter where I go whether near or far
God follows me like a midnight star
He shines bright and lights my path
Sometimes he loves me with grace, sometimes with wrath
I cherish what he has done for me
Healed me from a life of dreaded disease
Loved me and built me up into a mountain of strength
Founded upon my undying faith

God I pray to you that you will hold me close to you
Be the father I never had and make me anew
Remind me how much I desperately need you
Not a man or a friend, just my belief in truth
Shelter me from these distractions that rap at my door
Take my hand and lead me to what I need more
Push me and challenge me in the areas that need growth
So I can fall on you and lean into your word with an oath

I vow that I'll never look back at that life I had
Before I knew you, simple things and people made me glad
I rejoice in your undying presence and constant drone in my heart
You beat like a drum inside my soul like an art
I yearn for you to reveal yourself even more to me
I know I don't deserve even a moment of clarity
But you're gracious...my King, my Lord, Savior, my mighty lion
I have never seen the world in such pure light, you turned my "off" switch to "on"

My vision is sometimes blurred, mixed with sin and lightly stirred
But I know of something that combats all darkness that lies within just one word

JESUS

Nothing more or nothing less to describe the King in heaven
My everything, my center, my peace, my blessing

Gear Up for Humantics

This philosophical writing draws upon rationalities that we are 

all born with undeniable worth and importance with the aptitude

 to succeed. Almost ready to hit the shelves and Kindle land,

you can stay in-the-know with Facebook updates until then.

Plum Influence Has Arrived

Check it out!

The inaugural issue of Plum Influence Magazine re-branding Reno/Tahoe.

With a mission to spread the word about the positives of our community, Plum Influence debuted  today in a big way! If you're sick of Reno's bad rap...this is a MUST READ.

nEXt

The littlest things remind me of you
Like a flavor of gum or a type of shoe
We used to laugh about the stupidest things

You gave me your heart when you gave me that ring

Now I'm left with none of you

Just the grieving of what I once thought was true

The dead wishes and promises we both made

The memories of pain and hurt were the first to fade

I just remember the good
How you treated me like a man should
Your smile is seared into my brain
The fire of our love still burns like a flame

I'm consumed by the lies and deceit I've conjured

That our love was forever and could never be blurred

I need to break free from the chains I've locked shut

I want to let go, I want to be free, BUT....

It's always the but that holds me back
"But I truly love him still, that is a fact"
"But he was the best friend I ever had"
"But he really loved me and without him I'm sad"

You should never say never, but I still always say but

I make excuses for my steadfast love, for my deepest rut

And until I can admit to myself and him

That we will never try our love over again

I'll be stuck in this muck of hurtful lust
For the one I loved and thought I could always trust
But it's me who I should invest my trust in
Not a man, not a feeling, not my struggling sin

 

 

I miss you and I hate that we fell apart as abrupt as a drunken car crash

I wish you and I could have made it last

I still grieve and ask God to heal my heart

I wish that our end never had a start

An Evening with Jim Walberg

I'd say tonight was a success. Amongst a room of entrepreneurs, multi-colored infused paintings, and deliciously prepared h'orderves by Swill coffee shop the event was a smash hit. Highly renowned real estate specialist, Jim Walberg, spoke to an audience of a smidge under 50 business men and women. Intrigued by his approach to business, I must admit that he's doing something right with a 4.5 million dollar li$ting. Stay tuned for an in-depth debrief of the event in the upcoming Home Folio article, exposing major must-have information Jim revealed in his presentation.

Sell Yourself Tall

Don't ever sell yourself short. Whether it's for a job, a relationship, or any other opportunity that may spring up on your plate of life. I'm not 100% positive, but aside from those who have been reincarnated, we only live once. So, if we take that as truth, we should set our goals to the highest height.

Whether you're starting at the bottom, or you feel like you've reached the top, there's always room to grow. 


Don't sell yourself short.

There Their They're

Freshly Purchased

Gone

STUDIO SESH

Usher Has a Confession

This is a shusher...Usher is NOT dead. Fewf. I would have demanded some confessions from the killer. Thanks Twitter for your erroneous accusations and thanks idiot people for being gullible.

Who Wants to be a Mega Millionaire?

Did you know....

Your chances of winning this year's Mega Millions U.S. lottery jackpot are minuscule compared to your chances of you getting zapped by lightning?

To put your chances into perspective...

you are:

Source: USA TODAY research

Just wanted to remind everyone how ridiculous of a drive money can be sometimes.

Sinseriously,

From Apples to Ipads

I’m not sure if I should write something funny, something desirably profound, or just write in general. I have no preconceived flow to where my fingers on this keyboard will go. I have no will in this writing game, I’ve already lost to my thoughts. So here I go.

I’m sick. I’m sick of hearing the unsolicited deep-voiced advertisements. I’m tired of being tantalized by the barbaric call to action commercials. Our world is suffocating my mind’s freedom to think. I can’t step two feet without the bombardment of a brand or a logo’s screaming graphics, paralyzing the now-tainted moment of meditative thought I once had detained.

I have an idea!

It’s time to slow down.

It’s time to shut off your Draw Crap app, and really DRAW SOMETHING.

It’s okay to unplug your multi-tasking mind from the socket of social media dreamland. Relax. Unwind. Have a conversation with someone’s face rather than your phone.

These are my suggestions driven by compounded frustrations and probably early symptoms of monthly PMS.

Good luck and good day!

Angels on Earth

I thank God for the angels he has sent to me on earth

The ones who never gave up on my soul

The ones who knew I was half, and He could make me whole

I thank God for the blessings he's instilled in my days

The ones so great I can't seem to grasp their reach

The ones as small as sparkling pebbles on the beach

I reach for God each day and night

Sometimes I fail to link my will with his might

But I know he has me cradled in his arms

And I just wear him around my neck like a good luck charm

But below my neck is where God resides

In my heart forever, now I know The Truth versus lies

Thank you to those who never gave up on me

Who knew my faith could grow from a seed to a tree

And now I stand taller than ever before

Because I have the love of my friends and the Lord

Heavenly Thoughts

A soft scented rose petal, infused with scarlet tint.

The warm touch from a friend's adoring palm.

Sparkling powder descending like a dream from the sky to blanket the grey earth in an icy frosting.

Joyful abundance from within wells up in the form of a salty tear drop to bare good news.

Delicately gooey chocolate chip cookies expose salubrious dining for the soul.

Freedom to dance in the golden rays of warmth cast from the sun.

The sublime complexity of earthly ecosystems sprouting from the genesis of time.

Feeding the soul through the aesthetics of movement with sound.

The sweet heat exchanged in a tender lock of candied lips.


What's strikes you as the most beautiful thing about life?
Please share in a comment and I will share with the world in my next blog post.

Twenty and Some Change

There's no doubt you exist
but doubt in myself that your hand I'll miss
Self enraptured I ignore your touch
I slip away from your grasp too much


far away from you
into my hole I dig...and then ensues
the next step...To jump or pray?
that I wake up from this nightmare today...
The moments I give into my fears
are the times I feel satan creep near
he decieves me and lures me in
his power almost secures his win

my faith is a volcano ready to erupt
my devotion a seed that blooms
my love the thunder that booms
my life a gift of grace
Your forgiveness, a never ending space

What am I waiting for?
To give all my earthly weight to You Lord?
I look up and see Your light
Your effervescent might

Broken Reflection is Made Whole Through the Mirror of God’s Eyes

My reflection remains the same (if you don’t count the sprouting fleshy imperfections and wrinkles that have unwelcomingly unpacked their bags under my eyes.) But the soul within my fascia facade is unrecognizable. I have never known myself the way I know myself now. I have never truly beckoned my reflection in the mirror to show me the truth. Instead I suffocated its cry for help, chained its reaching hands, and muted its blatant pleads. I became my own master and like Hitler, embarked on a selfish vanity crusade, slaughtering my humble heart on an ignorant battlefield of bliss. I was killing myself inside without knowing.

Today as I peer into a mirror, I am confronted by a broken soul that stares back at me, desperately gasping for life. I realize that I have no power to nurture it back to health. I have no strength to heal the self-inflicted wounds that pulsate in pain. I can not look within myself, my surroundings, or others to fill my decrepit desires and gaping voids.

Now what I confess, you may never believe, but it is true. All the compounded years of abuse, doubt, guilt, and fear that have surfaced in the gouged and scarred secrets within, are slowly healing under God’s warm touch. Each day as I face the problems I thought I had drowned, I find myself swimming with them to an island of redemtion; while the identity I so carelessly crafted for myself sinks in death.

I thank God for saving my heart from complete self-destruction. I thank God for lifting my soul from the icy floor and renewing me in a blanket of love. I thank God for the forgiveness he has relentlessly shown me, and for the forgiveness I have found within my own confines.

I will welcome all parts of my reflection: broken, battered and salvaged to wade in God’s ocean of light, for I am not defined by my problems and pains, rather I am renewed and washed clean by the perfection of Christ.

Oh.....My GOD

Brainwashed. Crazy. I've been called both on several occasions, but God knows me to be neither. I used to be like you, yes YOU.

The person who smirks at the thought of some almighty creator.

The "good person" who validates their disbelief by claiming that if there truly were a God, he wouldn't cast those to hell or welcome them to heaven based on their lack of knowledge.

Or perhaps you've been granted the gift of intelligence and your philosophical approach chains you to your never ending questions, holding you hostage from truth.

And let's not forget about the infamous opt-out, that if there really was a God, then he wouldn't punish you for giving you a brain to question the world through your lens.

So you may be too smart, too ignorant, too resistant, too bombastic to believe in something greater than you. I know I was. But I'm curious to know exactly where you've been, where you're headed, and how you think you're going to get there. That's not up to me though. That's up to the God that I now understand exists in every breath, movement, gesture, thought, relationship and occurrence in my life.

I believe that God speaks to each individual differently. God to me, is not God to you. And who am I to tell you what or who God is? I can only live my life as a reflection of what I see him as. And the more I do so, the more God is revealed to me in mirror images I perceive as friends, family, and coincidences. So if you haven't found God yet, or better yet if you haven't extended your hand in hopes that he'll grasp it tightly and lift you up to surround you with his grace and love, then I'll be praying for you. Once you experience that breath-taking moment, an eternity with God awaits you.

A Love Collaboration

If you were in real estate, you'd have me sold
How many times have I told you this is getting old?
If it weren't for your past relationship you would trust me
That's the truth you claim and I trust it must be

We sold each other dreams and a life novelists could write about
But the storm clouds on the horizon made us question what we really cared about
I love you and you love me but the word LOVE is over played and under funded
Cuz when we said we were everything we ever wanted...well I guess we weren't keeping it 100
 
Plus I always thought that the 2 of us equaled 1
But the negative was relentless and wouldn't let us overcome
Unfortunately our problems weren't ever algebraic
They were real and compounded like and archaic cut mosaic

We thought we could build a life together but we didn't have a blueprint
Yes this is the Wild West but we didn't have true grit
We've both heard rumors girl but that's why they're called "rumors"-they're not true
And I don't expect you to believe them about me so why did I believe them about you?
I guess my closest friends were our biggest downfall
Cuz when push came to shove...
love wasn't enough

Now I'm left with my heart half broken and my mind fully aware
That if those words were never spoken, then life would still feel fair
I don't have you which means I have nothing
No more us, no more trust, no more diamond ring
My heart was never on my sleeve, I just gave it to you
To hold, to shape, to do to it whatever you wanted to
And you crushed it's life and dimmed it's beats
So it aches for you in a dying defeat

Love,

& MARTIN LEWIS

Amazing Grace

You have a story. Your scars: you have those unseen, and others marking memories that rise in a crooked road off your flesh. You have lost unexpectedly. You have gained when you thought  you were bankrupt in life fortune. 

My story has already been written, and yours may be too, but it's up to you to read it along the way. I'm no longer a slave of crafting intricate sentences full of embellished syntax to impress my readers. My author has always loved me, even before I was born and has omniscient eyes that see my heart for what it is. My story, I realize now, will not be signed by me. It will be published when I, for the first time, shake the hand that carefully dotted each i and crossed all my t's for me. In heaven.

What's your story?

Active Vs. Passive Guide to Dating

Is there a difference between active and passive dating? I ponder to myself as I actively stroll down a Reno neighborhood all too familiar to me. After 24 years (probably 10 of which were actually functional) of seemingly unsuccessful dating adventures, I now am stuck in the present with a reflection of past failed love stories. The Unhappily Ever After I know all too well, despite what Cinderella promised me with her undependable glass slipper. I know if my foot gear were the iconic depiction of a relationship story, their composition would most likely be of twigs and rocks, threatening to crumble under a mere whisper. With no support, no purpose, and a complete lack of genuine stability.

Now literally I'm brought back to the present moment, as I walk down the streets of No-town and look to my feet to ensure I don't find a nest of muddy tree branches for shoes. (*1) After squaring away that questionable doubt, I look to answer my own question. Is there a difference of actively dating versus passively dating? And I've concluded quite simply, yes.

Instead of sulking back in a dunce chair carefully constructed for yourself by yourself and wait for potential mates to pick you, shouldn't women, and more specifically me, take some initiative in the dating world? Instead of hoping to be the first picked teammate, I settled for silently watching those women around me get chosen. I've realized in my dating life I've been the girl who sits, waits, and looks at the watch on her hand in anticipation of those two hands to point to the future. But what I've realized is, it's MY bare hands that have the power to create my destiny. I've always thought, if I stopped searching, love would find me. I wonder what idiotic coined phrase I captured that from? Probably another Disney movie. And surprisingly enough I've come to terms I'm not Cinderella, I'm Bethany.

So as the New Year has fallen upon me, I have a renewed dedication to resist "falling" into a relationship with someone, and rather jump into it willingly after a selection process has been implemented and executed. No more sideline anxiety. No more appeasing as an appetizer before a man's salacious main course. No, I will be the main dish. I will be the one doing the picking. And if you sir are the last man standing, just remember, the nice guy doesn't always finish last. Maybe it's time for you too to start running the bases until you hit that home run. You can't swing your bat sitting in the cage; and if you're the jackass that would like to test the technicality of that statement, you'll likely end up hurting someone with misguided aim like yours. Get up. Get out. Start dating actively.


Sinceriously,


Baby B Fresh


*1-Relief. "I've got my Vans on but they look like sneakers," I think to myself. My mind trails off momentarily as I incorrectly recite some Pack lyrics and find myself lusting after Lil B. Please excuse my neurotransmitters as they tend to be of ADD descent most days.