Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Peep Emporium

Someone once said to me: “I saw Peeps today at the local grocer. If I shoplifted them, then I would have peeped my pants too”. How epic of a statement is that? BTW I hate when people use the term epic when something isn’t epic. BTW, BTW means by the way. I hate when people don’t explain abbreviations that they assume everyone knows. Especially newly invented ones. The other day someone was laughing I guess so hard that it had them rolling around because they exclaimed: “GNR!” What the F is GNR (other than some new term)? Oh BTW, F means fuck. Anyway, so I found out through urbandictionary.com that GNR means “got a nigga rollin.” I’m not racist by the way but I couldn’t help but wonder what the white version of GNR would be. Perhaps GCR, meaning “got a Caucasian rollin.” Anyways back to the Peep scenario. I have undiagnosed ADD I’m sure. Oh and ADD stands for attention deficit disorder which I know you already know. So I was thinking about this peep scene. I imagine if anyone would ever want to steal Peeps they’d steal the blue kind. Yellow is too predictable. And if you ever wanted to steal peeps, just like stealing Peeps, you’d make sure they fit in your jacket or something. So it would be ideal to steal a small blue Peep, or just a small peep, like a new-born. A quiet one. Thankfully Peeps are relatively quiet. But if you wanted to steel a Peep, that’s a whole different story. A hole different one I tell ya. Where would you spear the steel? I couldn’t ever imagine spearing a little baby blue Peep with steel. There’s no right place for the steel. It’s so wrong.